Wednesday 19 October 2011

THE DAY OF THE CACKLE CHAPTER FIVE

Chapter 5
WHAT SPEAKER`S CORNER CAN DO !

Sunday 30th September 1984

David Craney awoke early to find a silent house. He rose and made his way to the living room, no one there. He then entered the kitchen to find Amit reading a magazine. “Good morning, did you sleep well?”

The girl responds by putting her finger to her mouth urging him to be quiet. “The others are sleeping still, please be quiet. If you want breakfast you can find cereal in that cupboard, if you want toast the toaster is over there. You can get it yourself, I am not here to make breakfast for strangers, I am not a servant!”

Craney cannot make up if she is serious or joking, he decides to say nothing and puts bread in the toaster.

While waiting for the toast he asks Amit, “Do you all live here?”

“You do not need to know where we live,” she whispers while not looking up from her magazine. She goes on, “We can have a conversation as long as you do not ask questions, what would you like to talk about?”

“What time do the others get up, is that an allowable question?” he asks.

“When they are here they get up when they feel like it or when I get bored and waken them. I sometimes go out and buy the newspapers, I might go out when the others get up. I am not going to leave you here on your own while the others are sleeping. I do not trust you!” she says this with a wide smile.

They hear noise coming from the other two rooms and she declares “Good, at last we can talk at normal volume.”

The two men appear in the kitchen and go about making their breakfast in a manner indicating they were very familiar with the house and Amit`s rules of housekeeping.

“Want to go out for a walk when you finish breakfast Yoav? We can see if any newspapers are worth buying."

“Sure, as soon as I finish the man replies. “We can leave these two alone to get better acquainted."

“Yes,” she laughs, “We will let these two nerds get better acquainted.” Nimrod playfully hits her on the back of the head.

When the two leave for their walk Nimrod starts to quiz Craney. “Do you know many people in London?”

“Not really, just the ones I play chess with and some of my cousin`s friends.”

“Do you know anyone important among your acquaintances?” Nimrod persists.

“No, I do not know anyone important, I have seen a few famous people about the streets but I do not know them. I was speaking to an actor called Alex Hyde White while he was promoting a movie in Leicester Sq.




He was very pleasant and friendly but I do not know him, he is the only famous person I have meet while in London.”



Craney is now conversing with the man in a friendly manner.

“What about N. Ireland do you know anyone important there?” Nimrod can make an interrogation feel like a friendly conversation.

“No, I do not know anyone important there either. I go home regularly but I am afraid I do not know any influential figures. Though N.Ireland is a small place if you wanted to meet someone important it would be easy to do so.”

Nimrod looks very thoughtful, “Strange, most people usually know someone important or try to give the impression they do. What about Speaker’s Corner do you know anyone famous there?”

“No, I only go there for the entertainment, it can be hilarious at times, I am surprised you have never been there before. It is very kind of you to let me stay the night here, Speaker’s Corner is not far away.” He is very interested in important and famous people thinks Craney.

Nimrod nods his head, “It is not a problem, I am looking forward to seeing the action at Speaker’s Corner, you make it sound interesting. We have never been there before because we never had to go there, it is a new experience for us.”

“What about the girl?” Craney asks, “Is she hard to get on with? She seems very bossy.”

Nimrod laughed aloud, “I will tell her what you said, No she is fine, you just have not got used to her sense of humour, plus she is not a morning person, she is not at her sharpest in the morning. She is very bright and good at her job I would not be surprised if she becomes a VIP some day.”

“Really!” says Craney widening his eyes as he does so. He is also wondering if someone has a career mapped out for her.   


When the four reach the Speaker’s Corner area in Hyde Park Craney points them in the direction of a speaker surrounded by about 150 people.


“This guy can be really funny,” Craney enthusiastically tells the others.

The speaker is Roy Sawh and he claimed to represent the “Racial Adjustment Action Society.”

The man is a very skilful speaker, he knows how to hold the attention of an audience.

He fulminates against the crimes of the British white ruling classes. “Look what they did in my country, they came and gave us the Bible, while we were reading the Bible they were busy stealing all the gold and diamonds and raping the women folk!”

The majority of the listeners agree with him and laugh very heartily. The man pauses and looks over the crowd. He has the knack of spotting Americans especially American tourists. He has now spotted some. He points down at them, “Are you from America? he quizzes, the tourists proudly say, “Yes!”

“Are you proud to be Americans?” he goes on smiling at them as he says this.

Again they proudly declare, “Yes!”

The man’s smile fades and he springs his trap. “Are the Red Indians proud to be Americans?”

The crowd mostly laughs but the Americans are silent.

He persists, “ Are the black people proud to be Americans?”

More laughter form the crowd and silence from the tourists.

“If I were in your country you would now get the police for me to run me into jail! Well now you are in MY country and you have to take what I say or I get MY police and run you into jail!!!”

The Americans looked stunned, they have never come across anything like this.

The man is in full flight now he laughs loudly for a few seconds then he stills the crowd with his hand. “In Africa if you marry your cousin they call it incest! In the UK if you marry your cousin they call it ROYALTY," he roars. The crowd are now in a state of hilarious uproar.


So is Craney, he finds it all highly amusing although he does not agree with everything the speaker says.

Amit and Yoav look solemnly at the scene. Nimrod is busy thinking how he can exploit this scenario. The man is a compulsive schemer, he is always planning how to use people and scenes.

Amit turns to Craney and shakes her head, “Do you think this is funny? Do you not like Americans? I have American relatives, I do not find this amusing.”

“It is only satire, I would not take it seriously Amit, it is just free entertainment. If you don’t like it here let’s go over there and hear this guy.” He points to a man in his late twenties about 80 yards away.

They follow him over to hear the speaker, there is a crowd of about 60 people listening to him. Nimrod is now wondering the best way to plant a phoney Anti-Semitic speaker in the place just to see who he draws out to listen to him or make contact with him.


He is also pondering how to set up a phoney Islamic militant using the same methods with the same aims. It should not be to difficult he concludes.

The young man claims to be speaking on behalf of “The Men’s Liberation Society.” He is going on about how society fails to understand men and how badly men are treated. Some listeners are hysterical with laughter.

The laughter encourages the man to become more outrageous. “It is ridiculous,” he shouts, “Look how society treats a man who rapes a woman? What do they do? They lock him up for four years in prison. It is all so stupid. What is the first thing a man will do after being locked in prison for years? He now looks at the crowd for an answer. They wait expectantly.

“The first thing he is going to do is go and rape another woman, it is obvious. What society should do with a man who rapes a woman is not put him in prison. What they should do is lock him in a brothel for four years and force him to have sex 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, that will cure him! After four years of that the will not be raping anymore women.” He yells this at the top of his voice, the crowd are in stitches.

Amit turns to Craney and excitedly gestures and shouts, “They are all weirdoes, they are all weirdoes, they are all crazy let’s get out of here they are all weirdoes!!!!!!!!”

The three men have no choice but to follow her as she strides off. She launches a furious diatribe at Craney, “Nerds and weirdoes! you only hang around with nerds and weirdoes!  I do not like it here they are all werds and neirdos!”

She stops with a shocked look on her face, she had been so excited she had become tongue tied. The men are now laughing at her mistake, “Werds and neirdoes, werds and neirdoes” they laugh.

“Relax, I will buy you all dinner down in Orange St, we can catch the tube here.” Craney attempts to calm the girl down.





“I dread to think what this restaurant will be like, it will be full of crazy people, I am sure of it,” Amits shouts. The others are now finding the whole scene hilarious.

On the tube Craney sits beside Amit and teases her. “Look at that girl down there, the one with the red hair, is she a werd or a neirdo?”
Amit turns her head away a stares out the window. Craney laughs.


 
Just outside the restaurant Amit stops them and says “God knows what we are going to find in here!”

When they enter the Greek restaurant Craney is greeted warmly by a middle aged man with a moustache. “Good, good my friend you bring friends, have a seat, have a seat.” When they sit down the man says you Craney, “Your usual my, friend?”

When he hands menus to the others he departs and starts going about the restaurant singing at the top of his voice, Amit put her head in her hands and says “Oh no! more weirdoes.”

Craney looks at them, “I know a nice place in the East end, there is a very funny comedian there called Jimmy Fags, you would like him, he is in a bar called the Bow Bells.”


Amit puts her menu down and halts his speech. “I dread to think what it must be like! You really need to start mixing with normal people it is not good to mix with crazies all the time.”

Craney cannot make up his mind whether she is being serious or joking. “You will love the food here it is really good. Try the Beef Stroganoff it is delicious.”
“I will give it a go, what do I have to loose, you are paying for it after all,” is her response.

“You should be very happy Amit, you have invented two new word, neirdoes and werds. A neirdoe is a weirdo who looks like a nerd and a nerd is a nerd who acts like a weirdo. This should look well on your record.” Yoav states this seriously and gets them all laughing.

After the meal Craney announces he must leave them and go to his flat. Nimrod reminds him “Don’t forget the appointment on Wednesday at 2.00 pm. Just ask for Mr. Reznik, that should take care of everything.”
Craney reaches his Ealing flat and immediately makes a phone call.


No comments:

Post a Comment